| | Everything about me seems to scream 'fucked-up' at the moment. I have become so desperate to regain control over my sleep patterns that every bedtime is fraught with the fear of not being able to lose consciousness. Which, of course, exacerbates the problem immeasurably.
My thoughts have eddied and swirled towards recovery, but somewhere deeper in my mind, my ed is always hiding I suppose, because I lied to myself again. It is hard to break free from a mindset which has dictated your thoughts and actions from an early age. My eating regime is still rigid and controlled, but I'm trying my best to challenge myself and become more healthy-ish (whatever that means) by following a somewhat nutritious diet.
I appreciate all the comments I have received and apologize that I have neglected the forum for some time, mainly because I have been unsure about the forum rules and responsibilities that goes with it. There is a fine line between free speech and censorship. I have been uncertain in the past whether all viewpoints should be voiced freely, and came to the conclusion that forum members should not suggest potential harmful behaviors by sharing crash diets, weight loss pills, and how to hide your eating disorder. The intention of the forum is to provide users a community to interact with other members without unhealthy encouragement.
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| | Posted 2/20/2009 4:22 PM - 91 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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